FOR DREAM I CHANGE...BY DREAM I’M CHANGED...

In the heart of the night when it's dark in the lights, I heard the loudest noise...it sound’s creepy...but its true...it’s my own voice telling myself...I heard it every night ever since from that day...the day I made my mind...the day my heart is given to the DREAM I believe...to the destiny I choose...to the change I hoped so... ... ...
The sentence may make you surprise...what the HELL I am talking about... Actually I’m not so sure myself too...I don’t know why...Perhaps I THINKED a lot recently...thinking thought’s that makes no sense at all...thought’s that perhaps shouldn’t be a THOUGHT...
What you think about DREAMS...??? Some would say passing the day without doing nothing should be dreaming...Or...Passing a single day with bearing in mind that you must succeed the dream no matter what happens...is that really DREAM...???
According to Wikipedia...dream is defined as... A dream is a succession of images, thoughts, sounds, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep. The content and purpose of dreams are not fully understood, though they have been a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history. The scientific study of dreams is known as oneirology.

Okay...we have the meaning of DREAM from a reliable source...but what you yourself thinks about dream’s...I never know what is oneirology and I’m not planning to study that but I have my own meaning for dream... Dream is something that you wanted the most...the something that you care most...the something you hoped most appearing without any less or more right into your own mind and thoughts and you hoped it will exist in the very in front of you...
Perhaps it will like what we say DREAM COME TRUE...but is it really true enough to be believed...??? True enough to rely...??? True enough to DREAM off...??? I would say...I don’t really know...
Some of my people say’s that I am dreaming all the time...perhaps yes...and perhaps it’s true... For me now which I realize few months ago...I realize I am DREAMING...
I don’t know whether that dream of mine should come true or just to stay as DREAM’S forever...I just can’t ignore this feeling...and I can’t resist it...maybe it’s just a feeling which I would have every time I UPSET...every time I don’t have somebody beside me...every time I have myself lonely in my own MIND...~~~!!! I don’t know whether it’s a good sign which can make me tougher...or just a bad sign which makes me weaker...For something that we want...we should go and get it without looking back...looking further and further by believing we will get it...is that DREAMING...???
Thought I moved more than on...thought I am getting all right where I want to...but it’s like less something there...something that makes the whole thing not right...something that I don’t want...something that I remind myself every day before I sleep...Is what I’m doing is right...???
A lot of things happened recently...makes me weaker and weaker...makes me sad and forced me to give up...but I don’t think it’s the right thing to do... Why can’t I just nourish my dream...preserving it having it back to normal...back to what it was before...back to what I was dreaming before...??? I think it shouldn’t be a problem right... I LIKE what I have now...I know a lot of people isn’t so lucky as I am...there are more people who is unluckier...even more sad than I am...having their dark time and hoping it will go away soon...that’s what I mean it...I should HAPPY with what I have now...
Every single time I’m having this feeling...the feeling of disappointment...the feeling of loosing...the feeling of loneliness in my SOUL...I feel like a single bullet striking through me and I can’t stop bleeding... ... ...

Is MERCURIAL STEAM V suitable for me...???

As a winger I need


SPEED...


As a winger I need


CONTROL...


As a winger I need


ACCURACY...


As a winger I need


FLEXIBILITY...


As a winger I need


POWER...


As a winger I need


MERCURIAL...


MERCURIAL
STEAM V...

I need YOU

and I own You NOW...~~~!!!







http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCO7OWTHwn8&feature=related

Why It Need To Happen NOW...~~~???

I still remember when I was form 2...I stayed back at school for Red House Training...My Brother did that too for his athletic...when my Dad fetching us home...suddenly my Dad noticed a small Kitten crossed the road in front our school...I was soooo shocked when I saw it was so small and it was so lucky my dad noticed it or else our car would run over it for sure...When I hold him for the 1st time...i feel his fur was so smooth and delicate like a baby...my Brother wants him so badly so my Dad at first was just planning to take him home and fed him and perhaps let him go that night...My mum saw him at home and was so shocked and scolded us for bringing stray cat to home...but after a while...I din expect that actually looks like he is good in taking people heart huh...My mum say his is CUTE...~~~!!!
6 years of life with him...I won’t forget that easily...he is so active and adorable...especially when he jumped into my bed whenever I wanted to sleep...he like dun allow me to sleep...so what I do is sleep beside him...what’s next...he will take his sipek COOL eh nose and smell my ears...that really annoys me sometime...
When he was 3 year old...he fall down from our 4th floor...my dad was so scared that something bad happened to him...I don’t know why but what a miracle...he survived...back at the VET...i saw him struggle with pain when the Vet examined him for any fracture...I dropped my tears at that very moment...
But now...I don’t know how am I going to describe my feeling...it’s like empty...no one can fill it...no one can bring it back...I just hope he can find a better place some where there...You Are Free Now My Dear...~~~

What’s Up...It’s PAYBACK TIME...~~~!!!

WAO...getting worst ha...I thought it has ended so smoothly and without anything to look back...looks like I’m wrong again...~~~
Haloooo...got HEART or NO HEART ancua measure eh...??? Can teach me bo...??? O.0...I know la...din come meeting for 2 times...then din go stupid salam gathering...badminton outing...or din watch SPY NEXT DOOR ko si bo heart liao...wao...yeng lo...i need to encode this formula liao...~~~!!! OK let’s see our formula...emmmm... NORMAL BEHAVIOUR-(MEETING 2 TIMES+SALAM GATHERING+BADMINTON OUTTING+SPY NEXT DOOR)= NO HEART
OK...hypothesis accepted la...so it’s already proven that I have no HEART...so ancua...??? Ppl already CHOP me say that me no heart liao ah...no need say who say that la...everybody also know la...but I’m not angry ah...I’m just laughing all the time...BUT I’m angry if u guys moronically say it’s because of 1 reason...and I’m unhappy and don’t test my patient...I explained to u all already right...so keep u guys eh MOUTH shut up...no need MOUTH la...dun come KEPO a lot la...cause leh ho...u all KEPO wrong place liao...go mind your own business...I have my own style...and not you guys determine my style...I know my style CHANGE d nowadays...I dunwan kuan u all ho...it’s that bothering you guys...so my advice is...think what you guys had done to me...before you guys think what I have done to u all...actually maybe I din do anything is the main problem la ho...I kosi hami pun don’t want to do...why leh...cos i have no HEART ma...
Aiya...u guys dun understand me la...and dun act that u guys understand me...cos I also dun understand u all...I dun understand u guys eh thinking...sooooo narrowed...and CHILDISH...~~~!!! You treat me good I treat you good...if you think me gt HEART I will give you my HEART...Once again...if I include today...it’s just 31 days...and I have been labelled as NO HEART...~~~!!! No need me also u all can do eh la...dun worry la...u guys can eh...so ban ban lai la ha...anything ask me la...dunwan ask also can... Guess What...I’m STILL LAUGHING...heeeee...~~~!!!

Colourful LIFE Is What I Want...~~~!!!

EMmm...things happen when u least expect it...that is very right when applied it on me...I thought when I said I won’t have myself into an accident to my teacher... I expect it won’t happen earlier...but it happens right after 45 minutes when I was going back home...At that very moment...I thought about the teacher I said those word to...my back of my motor sway’s to the right and I was braking very hard at that time...about 3 feet yet and I was finished... ( I DUNNO WHY DID GOD SAVED ME THAT MOMENT ) but I believe...I have something not done yet...something that I was destined to...
When I was backing home...I thought about this all the way...What did I wanted in my life...??? Why i was born to this world...??? It should be sum reason for that...I know sometime I looks like doesn’t care about anything about myself...anything about my future...anything about my life...anything about my well being...but...I care...and I really do...
Things have changed...people are aiming for money and wealth...friends are aiming for career without looking back at anything...is it they changed...or is me myself... Honestly...I never aimed a career that makes lot money...I’m aiming for a career which I love...which I enjoy...which I love to do... Money has an infinite enjoyment n perhaps “happiness” for some reasons...I realize that...but I just wanted a stable n happier life for god sake...~~~
1/1/2010...I tot it should be a good starting perhaps a good turning point for me to change...I have tried to change and it shows good sign...what I want is just a colourful life...after sacrificing so much...after giving up so much all this while...it’s my turn to take concern of myself...to care myself...to care what I care most...~~~!!!

24 days of "SILENCE" win's 600 days of HARDWORK and TEARS...~~~!!!

WHAT A GREAT DAY BEGIN’S WITH A NICE BREAKFAST MY MUM BOUGHT FOR ME...ITS BIG BREAKFAST LEH...I MEAN MCD’S “BIG BREAKFAST” OF COURSE...HAHAX...~~~!!!
STUPID ALLAN SMS ME 7MORNING8MORNING ASK ME STUPID QUESTION...U WAKE LIAO BOI...SO PEKCHEK THAT TIME...BUT I STILL CONTROL MY FEELING AND WOKE UP AND STARE AT MY HANDPHONE AND REPLIED HIM...U SI SIAO LIAO...HAHAX...~~~!!!

SO MISS HER TODAY MORNING WHEN HAVING MY BREAKFAST DUNNO WHY OSO MAYBE ITS ALREADY A WEEK DIN MEET TIOK HER D...BUT WHAT TO DO...ITS FATE JUZ LIKE ALLAN SAYS...

LET’S FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS...LET ME TALK ABOUT SUMTHING I FEEL NUMB AND TREMENDOUSLY FUNNY TAT HAPPENED TODAY...AS WE ALL KNOW TAT TODAY IS OUR “KELAB RAKAN MUDA BUKIT BENDERA” “AGM”...U KNOW ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING...YA TATS RITE...ITS ALL ABOUT NEW COMMITTEE’S AND NEW PLANNING FOR THE WHOLE GOD DAMN YEAR...ITS LIKE BUDGET PLANNING FOR MALAYSIA U KNOW...WELL...9 O’CLOCK SHARP I AND ALLAN N MR BLUE OCEAN A.K.A BOON HOE STARTED OUR JOURNEY TO OUR DEAREST SO CALLED “LIBRARY” TO ATTEND “AGM”...

IT SHOULD START AT 10AM SHARP...BUT WE WAITED PEOPLE TILL I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE D LO COS ACTUALLY WE DIN WAIT OSO...WELL THE MEETING STARTED AT 10.30AM...OK USUAL ALL THOSE STUPID STARTING BY THE CHAIRMAN N WELCOME SPEECH...zzzzzzz...I SHOULD GO INTO THE MAIN THING LEH...EMMMM....THE POST ANNOUNCEMENT...WELL CHAIRMAN ONG KEAN TATT THEN VICE CHRIS TOH THEN SECRETARY ALLAN YEOH THEN SUDDENLY....WAO...GREAT QUESTION APPEAR’S FROM OUR DEAREST CHAIRMAN MR =ONG=...HEY MOGAN...U GT “HEART” BO EH...COS I WAS THINKING TO PUT U IN AJK LEH...U SHOULD STEP DOWN IF U DUN HAVE HEART TO TIS D...WAO...U WANT TO KNOW WAT I WAS THINKING TAT MOMENT...SO STUPID...TOS FUCKING MATTER’S CUMS AGAIN...~~~!!!

HONESTLY I KNOW I WAS QUITE SILENT N PERHAPS DIN DO TIOK ANYTHING TIS 24 DAYS...JZ AFTER SURVIVALISM I WAS COOLING DOWN...I KNOW ITS TRUE...I KNOW WAT U GUYS THINKING LA...MAYBE BECOS TAT WHO WHO AH I BECUM LIKE TIS OR HAMI RITE...BUT U GUYS NEED TO THINK...IT WAS JZ “24 DAYS” AND I BELIEVE IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING...I WAS JZ TRYING TO CONCENTRATE ON MY OWN MATTER’S ESPECIALLY STUDIES N OSO PERSONAL PROBLEM’S...ITS TAT WRONG...??? HONESTLY GUYS...I KNOW SUM OF U KNOW MY SITUATION NOW ESPECIALLY ALLAN...BUT SUM OF U DUN EVEN KNOW WHY I WANT TO BE LIKE TIS...BUT IM TELLING U GUYS NOW..I WANT TO CONTINUE TO BE LIKE THIS COS I LIKE IT...IF I HAVE NO HEART TO ANY OF UR PROGRAM...OMG WHY SHOULD I JOIN FOR SO LONG...HAIZ...NOTHING D LA...JZ TAT HOPE I GT CONTRIBUTE TIOK SUMTHING ALL TIS WHILE LA...BUT IM NT HOPING TO GET TAT POST ANYWAY COS I OSO FED UP D...AS LONG AS I ENJOYED CONTRIBUTING TO IT ALTHOUGH EVERYTIME OSO GET SCOLED OR MAYBE “STEPPED”...

MR NIC...U GT TO DO UR BEST YA...ITS NT A EASY JOB MAN...I KNOW U HAVE THE DARENESS...JZ MAYBE U LESS SUM INFO N CONTACT’S...I WILL BE RITE HERE HELPING U OWAYS...JZ ASK ME LA IF GT ANY PROBLEM...IM NOT MAD WITH ANYONE HERE...JZ TAT I FEEL DISSAPOINTED WHEN MR =ONG= ASK ME TAT QUESTION...MAYBE HE IS RITE OSO...ANYWAY THANKS FOR GIVING ME OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE TIS POST FOR 20 MONTHS...ITS WAS CHALLENGING AND OSO FUN MAN...I STILL REMEMBER WHEN I APPLY TIOK JPN N OSO CELEBRITY FITNESS TAT WORTH RM24000 SI I HAPPY KA DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE D...BUT I OSO REMEMBER I WAS SO FUCKING DOWN WHEN I FAILED TO GET YOUTH PARK FOR DANGEROUS...ACTUALLY ITS LIKE MY DESTINY U KNOW...I LIKE TO BE SECRETARY...ESPECIALLY WORKING WITH ALLAN... ...ITS ALL RITE UP IN HERE IN MY MEMORY...IT WILL STAY OWAYS...