My story with my Brother Alpha 550 !

Came out of nowhere. I met my Brother Alpha 550 ! He is kinda good to me. He is black in colour but captures the color of this world..the colour of my life..the color of everything I had.. Worked hard for him.. Bought him at the cost of RM3.5K..Got him cheaper through my friend actually.. 20^th August 2010 is his birthday..the day I really started to fell on photography.. 21^st I met her..it’s because of him actually..without him..I won’t even know her at all..he bring me all those happiness..happiness I really mean it.. Maybe she had changed..but he never change..he helps me to capture the sadness and happiness of everything..he helped me to earn money..he helped me to know who I am..T.T..

When I’m all alone after left out..he accompanied me..just like last few nights..he accompanied me to capture the beauty of the moon..when she din even know where I am..:( without her I thought I still have him..Who knows he left me too..:( I still have the 1^st and last picture of him L

Few months ago..I found a friend for him..a 300mm lens which I bought for him..he was really happy..I can feel it..he captured animal where I can’t even imagine.. Bro..I really love you..maybe by now you have a new owner..what I’m hoping is they will take care you nicely like I did..Bro..you are my 1^st DLSR and you are always…L Bro..take care your budies ya..2GB card,4GB card, 8GB CARD and your buddy 300mm lens..:) Hope you all will stay together… I miss you bro L

I’m sweet and sour…~~~

I’m sweet and sour…simple sentence…but full of meaning and most importantly it describes me…~~~

Recently since my last post…I’ve changed once again indeed…this time…not that relevant in compare to few “other” times…just perhaps some changes that for me POSITIVE and full of VISION…changes that changes me thoroughly…inside my soul and outside of my daily life…out of my expectations…I’ve changed to someone totally not me…

Right now I’m feeling great…keep pushing my limit’s to the edge of everything I’ve been through…although in time sacrificing all those “relationship” which perhaps for people I’ve been planning it or purposely doing that…in fact…I’m lost…

I’m LANSI…??? Really…??? Perhaps I am… Just hoping to get something which I really wanted…Succeed in every way I can imagine of…I need to sacrifice a lot…I have my own choice to be fair…to be straight…please don’t control me…even my family can’t understand me and to be frankly don’t even trust me…why…??? I just believe I can and I will prove it…~~~

I’m lost in term of everything I use to be…in term of everything people knew is me… I’ve heard someone said that…its essential to “KICK-OUT” those negative people or things that will straightly affect you in every way…I knew this won’t be easy for me…but it’s all depends on them to decide and act…

SWEET moments gone for ages from me…it’s absolutely not the thing which is going to change me nor help me…Discouraging in nature…I have to eliminate it from my soul…DreamBoy…just do what you are born to do although it’s not the one which people is going to agree with you…SOUR is waiting you…~~~!!!

NIGHT LIFE…~~~!!!

Who says that “NIGHT LIFE” is only clubs…pub…lounge…liquor and heavy dances…??? Night life isn’t just about fun…excitement…adrenaline and romance…but for me it’s about spiritual balance…relaxation…doing something interesting and mind-set building…~~~!!!

Perhaps I’m kinda different at something from teenagers from my age…different in term of mind-set…different from thoughts… and different from understanding…perhaps just for a simple reason that I’m CRAZY…~~~

EMO…this word have been around me for a year now…yup…perhaps friends around me thinks that I’m getting EMO-ING just because of relationship problem’s…but its far more than that…far more than anyone could think of…far pathetic then then anyone could imagine…Race, money, studies, feelings, hurts, status, perception, other people words…things they have said and relationship could be reason’s…do you ever thought about that…??? Sometime I would be as silent as a LOG…sometime I would be anti-social as terrorist…sometime I could be not a GENTLEMAN in an occasion…all this is just a way for me to cool down…to forget those pains temporary…but why I’m doing all this…??? I have no ways…T.T…~~~

From the day she said that I’m not a GENTLEMAN…I’ve decided to be like this…to express everything to me and only me…try to conceal every inch of pain into me…to subside it like it never happened before…~~~ Hanging out at the beach alone at night…Hiking Hill’s at the early morning when the sun is at a deep sleep…taking magnificent night shots all around this world are my choices to express it…~~~!!! THIS IS ME…DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE…~~~

There's always a FIRST TIME for EVERYTHING…~~~!!! (THE NEW ME BEGINS)

There's always a FIRST TIME for EVERYTHING…~~~!!! (THE NEW ME BEGINS)
It’s been a while after I wrote my last pathetic blog post…why…??? Because it gives me a smack on my face…right through my heart…I shouldn’t write that is it…??? Anyway it’s my fault and it’s going to be the same through the ages…blown away by the greatness of time…
Talking about time…5 months have passed since I changed my lifestyle once again…from a socializing…fun and jerky…compassionate…kind and a person who really puts everything on her to someone who is kinda more chaotic…wild being…outgoing and can be said more outdoor type of me and without forgetting a more HAPPY ME…~~~!!! THE NEW ME BEGINS…~~~!!!

But looking back to time…to be exactly…I really miss those time living with those memories…but I can’t afford to be sad anymore although deep into me…there is some dust of pain…~~~ No comments about it also leh…~~~

A lot of remarkable experience I’ve done during all this period of changes…Won ONE HERITAGE game…knew a lot of friends from there…kinda appreciate those friends cause they are the reason for me to fall for photography…X-amazing game was just great…although it’s just a near to victory combat…Genting trip with my fellow buddies…was fun…enjoying and relaxing I describe it hahax…And a Night Hike to bukit bendera with 4 of my person…!!! This is really crazy thing to do…Go for a hike at 3am is really way tooooo crazy…~~~!!!

Well…last few week was a real…how I describe it as SO DAMN WONDERFULL weeks…met with a lot of new friends…FAMINE 30 and PRE-CAMP was terrific…~~~!!! Bunch of new friends from PHOR TAY gave me a whole new dimension of life and make me appreciate friends…kinda wonderful people’s they are…~~~ Enjoyed my holiday with them hahax…~~~ But at the same time I was sad cause I figured out that she isn’t getting well but worse…dunno why she wrote that in her blog…and I wont knew it from anyone around too…I just hope she will be alright that’s all…~~~

OK…now I knew I’ve adopted the field of PHOTOGRAPHY in myself apart from videography which I can say I’m PRO in it…Right now I’m just trying to get the right move and feel in it…learning from scratch and some guidance from ALPHA members and also my new friends I knew recently…I started to fall for PHOTOGRAPHY already…hehex…~~~!!!
Captured some great photos since the ALPHA workshop which I’ve attended…and remarkably…I won the ALPHA photography competition…Get an extra year of warranty for my brother a.k.a. ALPHA 550…~~~ Let the pictures describe me…>>>

YES I'm MOLIU...~~~

The moon at paradise make me feel SICK...It’s going to be 3 months soon huh…Everything still fresh in mind…How to get rid of it…??? Yaya...perhaps like you told me next year after I leave here and forget everything I had before right here…Yes you understand everything and I’m terribly wrong…I wonder if I can keep silent till the end…yes I can’t…

You wanted to know what happened between me and my friends…??? The truth is nothing happened…!!! But why I’m acting soooo fucking weird and perhaps very KIAM PA…??? It’s all because I wanted to forget you…forget everything I had before…forget everything I’ve done before…forget everything you told me before…forget every single piece of memory I eager before…YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS all this is MOLIU for you…but for me it’s the only thing I can do now…when I miss you I don’t even dare to tell you…when I really really thought of you I can’t even speak out cause I’m scared I will annoy you…every single place I’ve been with you I don’t even dare to go again…every single person who can recall my memory back I can’t FACE them again…this is me…MOLIU…~~~!!!

I still remember your best friend told me when I asked her why I do so much for you when I don’t want anything from you…she said…It’s your problem la…you your own self wanted to do so much eh…nobody force you…hmmm perhaps she’s right…NOBODY ever FORCED me to love you…

Another friend of yours told me before…Is it by caring you is the way I show my love to you…hmmmm after few visit to paradise and a deep thought…I figured out…I know her meaning d…perhaps she is right also…I’m not qualified huh…All this words really kills me…and I know you understand right…and I don’t understand…

I always thought you can’t FACE me…but the truth is I can’t FACE you…yes…you will be my only person I love always but I know you won’t allow me to do so…perhaps can’t even care you right…you told me few days ago…it’s my choice to like who or not to like who right…what do you think now…is it really my choice…??? I can’t FACE my friends anymore…It’s absolutely not your wrong…I know after you see all these you would disappear as you said before…but you are making things worse…you thought if you disappear perhaps can’t even contact you would make things back normal…hmmmm you are wrong…yes I’m begging you once again perhaps as you thought so…I don’t want you to disappear…I want to see you at least in the normal way we had…I want to know that’s all…SORRY…T.T...

It’s not FAIR to some people around me…especially my best friends but all I can say is NOTHING…let it be la…I don’t want things to happen this way too but everything has its own reason to happen...I’m changing myself to be selfish now…its hard but I think I can work it out…I believe in one idiom…GOOD GUY DIES BAD GUY LIVES…this is true as I knew it from what I can see around…

Actually I know what is the reason things happened this way…perhaps I’m different huh…maybe in some way I’m really different…different from every friend I have…you know what I mean…I dunno whether that is the reason or not cause you didn’t tell me before yet…It’s ok I don’t want to get myself hurt also lolx…~~~

For now I really hope you’ve accepted my apology that day before you gone for your trip…but what can I expect..nothing perhaps…I don’t think I have anything to say anymore just be yourself as always…And I’ll be myself too…don’t DISSAPEAR that’s all…SORRY…~~~ I am MOLIU…~~~I hope you can say something…

I Still Miss HIM...~~~

I don't know why this few weeks I'm having so weird kind of feeling...so weird and odd...Perhaps a lot of things came by for a visit...I wish everything will be alright...but end up nothing different...I know I'm capable of control my feeling's already...but still and will have feeling's right...??? When this happens what did I do...??? I've done something that i really hate myself few days ago...I LIE...haix...Hope I LIE for a good reason but after a deep thought...I FELT is my FAULT to do tat...extremely wrong...sorry...~~~ Hmmm...I don't know but still I believe for everything happened will be a reason...

Today I miss HIM badly...~~~

Sweet Dream Or Beautiful Nightmare...~~~???

May my life like toilet paper...long and useful...~~~

Well...a lot of things happen right after my GREAT accident...I really mean it...It’s damn a lot man...~~~!!!

Hmmm...well I’m hoping to recover as soon as possible but you know things just won’t happen the way u wanted it to be...But it’s ok cause I’ve accepted what happened to me actually but just that a bit disappointed la....~~~ Emmm...let’s see...CT scan shows cracks when I thought it was only 1...LEFT TEMPORAL EXTRADURAL HAEMORRHAGE...PNEUMOCRANIUM...COUNTRE COUP RIGHT FRONTOBASAL CONTUSIONS ( MILD )... I’ve checked on the internet...kinda normal case whereby lost of hearing is normal...well it’s not normal for me for sure...haix... What to do...things happen d...~~~
For now...still having dizziness...headache getting worst...everytime it gets in I would just lye down and dream lolx...~~~ Still remember Sunday when I had that dizzy when I was driving back home from QB...my god...I was so scared...Like floating on my seat...Just thought of LORD that time then everything goes smooth...~~~

ENT ( EAR NOSE THROAT ) department is where I have been referred to...GREAT machinery tats all I can say...Get me checked up with 6 different machines...Results shows that there is no defect’s to my Cochlea or something like that or to be more simple my ear organ’s...but my cavity had been pressed by the cracks...to be honest I think it’s going to be permanent...nothing I can do about it...~~~

Well EAR had finished checking...it’s my head’s turn...Wednesday gone for another scan...shows mild haemorrhage ( INTERNAL BLEEDING )...should be ok as it doesn’t affect any part of my brain lolx...but still cause some effect’s like dizziness and etc and still need to take some medicine la...Lost 5KG all because of the medicine...haix getting thinner and thinner nia...but I still wan football and badminton in my life...~~~!!!

Saw my motor the day before...well it creeps me out...looks like I’m pretty lucky I guess...I love my motor so much helps me a lot for such a long time...but everything end’s like that...hope my dad can repair it soon cause I wanted to see it alive again...T.T...~~~
Sweet Dream or Beautiful Nightmare...~~~












For few days I was so damn EMO leh...dunno why oso...Go everywhere also alone...But actually it teaches me a lot of things leh...I found out a lot of things and theory...1 biggest and most important theory which I figure out was when u put someone 1st...you end up last...sometime very pity to my friends also leh...why so down cause of some stupid ppl leh...~~~ Why I did I say that...dun ask me leh ask them la cos I dunno how to say also...Just think it deeply la...got truth eh...~~~ Paradise beach was the best spot to be EMO lolx...lying down and watch out stars and see old messages wao...so romantic and relaxing...was nice but still HURT la lolx...and sorry I din reply summone msg that day really sorry ya...make you worry nia...sorry sorry...anyway LOVE is not everything yet la...cause I feel nothing is everything...Everything is you yourself ba mostly...”I’m overboard and I need your love and FOOL me up”...love this sentence sooooo much...cause it’s sooooooo true...~~~ “I’m drowning I can’t swim on my own and I need your love”...this sentence leh...??? I dunno how to say oso haix...cause I don’t want to be the one to say it out...walao leh...why I say this in my blog like talking to me myself aneh pulak ...~~~ Love you PARADISE ^.^ I can take care my own feeling’s now sooooooo happy no need to tell anyone yipeeeeee...~~~!!!

That’s Entertainment...~~~

Well Monday won an iPod casing...lolx so funny nia...Simply go participate a contest in Facebook and won it wo...me aneh gao meh lolx...claimed it at QB...~~~ Well I really like that casing...it fits well to my new iPod...huh my new iPod..??? Yaya...My iPod have a new look babe...And I love it...!!! Why did I change it...??? Cause I want to change too...I mean totally change leh...haix...dunno why that morning I think of that suddenly...well for now only me and my iPod is my best life partner...I love MY iPod and my iPod love me lolx...~~~ ( SHINING IPOD and SHINING ME )







Wao...get tiok my Jersey liao...I choose 20 wo...ok bo...??? I want choose 11 eh...but end up don’t want...cause I don’t like kua...maybe...~~~ Complicated nia my feeling this week but I like it...cause I’m fucking relax man...really...~~~ Emmm...nice material oso leh the jersey still satisfied la...~~~ But I still wanted number 11 haix...~~~









Saman ah saman...sienx nia you ah...why u came up when I wan use my money apalah you...I want eat holiao go holiao eh place eh si you pulak come find me...haix...My RM370 fly d lo...but nvm la...is my wrong ma so bo huat... Nvm la...memory ma ho...keep it save la lolx...dunno what I’m saying oso...~~~

After all bad luck I had this week...but I’m still happy leh...Cause I really din share my happiness with anyone also...I feel happy cause I have time to focus on my happiness...Wao...I really like it...really do...~~~


Well...nice week with many lessons...I deserve it kua...The most important lesson I know can d...cos I still believe it is the best lesson I had since long long time till now...~~~ Enjoy My Own Life And Cherish My Own Family And Matter’s...Selfish coming back...??? I don’t know...Problem’s made that...Not my fault...!!! ( LOVE MYSELF NOWADAYS CAUSE I NEVER REGRET WITH WHAT I HAD DONE )