Tuesday, June 15, 2010

YES I'm MOLIU...~~~


The moon at paradise make me feel SICK...It’s going to be 3 months soon huh…Everything still fresh in mind…How to get rid of it…??? Yaya...perhaps like you told me next year after I leave here and forget everything I had before right here…Yes you understand everything and I’m terribly wrong…I wonder if I can keep silent till the end…yes I can’t…

You wanted to know what happened between me and my friends…??? The truth is nothing happened…!!! But why I’m acting soooo fucking weird and perhaps very KIAM PA…??? It’s all because I wanted to forget you…forget everything I had before…forget everything I’ve done before…forget everything you told me before…forget every single piece of memory I eager before…YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS all this is MOLIU for you…but for me it’s the only thing I can do now…when I miss you I don’t even dare to tell you…when I really really thought of you I can’t even speak out cause I’m scared I will annoy you…every single place I’ve been with you I don’t even dare to go again…every single person who can recall my memory back I can’t FACE them again…this is me…MOLIU…~~~!!!

I still remember your best friend told me when I asked her why I do so much for you when I don’t want anything from you…she said…It’s your problem la…you your own self wanted to do so much eh…nobody force you…hmmm perhaps she’s right…NOBODY ever FORCED me to love you…

Another friend of yours told me before…Is it by caring you is the way I show my love to you…hmmmm after few visit to paradise and a deep thought…I figured out…I know her meaning d…perhaps she is right also…I’m not qualified huh…All this words really kills me…and I know you understand right…and I don’t understand…

I always thought you can’t FACE me…but the truth is I can’t FACE you…yes…you will be my only person I love always but I know you won’t allow me to do so…perhaps can’t even care you right…you told me few days ago…it’s my choice to like who or not to like who right…what do you think now…is it really my choice…??? I can’t FACE my friends anymore…It’s absolutely not your wrong…I know after you see all these you would disappear as you said before…but you are making things worse…you thought if you disappear perhaps can’t even contact you would make things back normal…hmmmm you are wrong…yes I’m begging you once again perhaps as you thought so…I don’t want you to disappear…I want to see you at least in the normal way we had…I want to know that’s all…SORRY…T.T...

It’s not FAIR to some people around me…especially my best friends but all I can say is NOTHING…let it be la…I don’t want things to happen this way too but everything has its own reason to happen...I’m changing myself to be selfish now…its hard but I think I can work it out…I believe in one idiom…GOOD GUY DIES BAD GUY LIVES…this is true as I knew it from what I can see around…

Actually I know what is the reason things happened this way…perhaps I’m different huh…maybe in some way I’m really different…different from every friend I have…you know what I mean…I dunno whether that is the reason or not cause you didn’t tell me before yet…It’s ok I don’t want to get myself hurt also lolx…~~~

For now I really hope you’ve accepted my apology that day before you gone for your trip…but what can I expect..nothing perhaps…I don’t think I have anything to say anymore just be yourself as always…And I’ll be myself too…don’t DISSAPEAR that’s all…SORRY…~~~ I am MOLIU…~~~I hope you can say something…

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