Positive. Good Luck to YOU !

Positive. What that means for you ? Perhaps it is just a simple word for you. But it is not for me, it is money, it is happiness, it is life, it is my future. I met a great guy recently. A guy I trust would change my life forever if something goes wrong with my plan.

I don't want to say who is him, but he is great ! Sleep early, meet positive ppl, speak and listen positive thing, think happy things are some of the basic ingredient for positive attitude ! Damn I love this guy ! Gotta change my life a bit, yeah not going to talk about it ever, yeah it's true I miss her sometime, but it ain't gonna bring me anywhere, so how would it be if I forget it ?

I trust myself, she and him not gonna be long, but even it is going to be long, at least I must be richer than him ! 21 years old, must have all those things I wish to have, not gonna say what is that but Im gonna have it ! For now, I gotta be chill, positive and smile to her. You know when you smile to ppl that hate you, it gonna kill them XD ! Wohoooo ! Hong Kong here I come :)

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To you, I'm sorry if I made you upset because of any of my words or action that causes you trouble with your friendships. I accept whatever you want to say to me, you say me cheap, stupid, bullshit just anything, it's okay I accept it. What I am gonna do is I'm just gonna show you that I'm better than him a lot in anyway ! That moment, I'm gonna come and find you and I hope you will realize what mistake you have done. I'm not gonna hate you now or ever. Just hope you will be back soon. Good luck to you.

I Guess. I'm Broken.

Sometime when I look back to those days nowadays, I feel proud. Not because I'm kind or what, but I had those moments, I've been in that state before, I done that before, and I knew is I'm the one who did all those thing. Perhaps no one can do the same thing just like I did for her, but I'm here wishing for her all the best.

Yeah, I heard something that really broke my heart down few days ago, I feel I'm so cheap, I feel I'm like a begged begging for love, but I stayed positive thanks to mr. Komalan. He told me something really touching for me to brave up.

I know Indian aren't for Chinese right ? But it doesn't mean your family can think I would throw acid on your face right after all this happened ? I don't know what is your reaction when you listened to your family said that, but I hope you know I treated you like no one before, a person who treated you like that before won't do such thing on you girl.

Racist ? It's every where around dude, I kinda don't trust any friend Fully now, except allanyeoh, I knew him well I guess XD ! Nvm la if your family thinks like that after I done so much, enough of hurts I get. Thanks. And hope your webcam can you use d, I'm glad to assist you even there is not even a thanks I guess.

NO ONE is BETTER than THEM in my life ~!

Dad you are 50 now, i know you did your best all these years to raise me, teach me, nurture me and make me happy with all your might. I don't know whether I made you proud or not, but I know I did not do anything that would disappoints you, that makes you feel I'm not the one you saw with your own eyes when I was born 20 years ago.

In this month, since a lot things have changed, I can feel our born is getting better, I can feel the warmth of my family. I don't know why but I just feel single is the best thing for me right now, not because of I hate love or what, but it's because I can't focus on family and my lover at the same time.

Ya it's true, I ignored my family when I was in love, I don't care how they feel when I reject when they wanted to have dinner together with me just for the sack to meet her or fetch her. I don't care even they waited for me to back home in the middle of the night. I just don't care my family.

Honestly after today, I started to realize, I'm not suitable to have a relationship now. Not at all ! There is saying my friend told me, love your family and the world will love you back. I need to hold on to this saying, I want to care my family more, more than myself, and not a stranger I knew 1 or less years who will Actually treat you like never knew you before and just kills you with one straight bullet through your heart.

Till at the last moment, family is the only ppl who will always stay beside you till the end. Trust me, it's not for me only, but I said this to every friend I know, family are best ppl and best friends you can have. Cherish your family guys, they are the only person who cares you the most.

One Word. Wonderful ~!

Wonderful journey. That's the word I can describe for the splendid moment I had with all of them during this journey :) 4 days and 3 night felt like it was 1 month of journey. Weird but that's the truth. 8am on Friday started our journey to the south.

Heading to KL, with a stop at somewhere near sungai perak to have a simple breakfast of kebab ayam for me as I love it always. From there I drive all the way down to KL. Around 1pm we reached and I tot at 1st I would lost on the way to the mines as I been there 7 years ago, but who knows I get the road right and reached our destination the mines wellness hotel at 2pm sharp.

Well me Simon and zuga suppose to stay at other hotel but we get an extra room at the 4 star rated hotel ! Woots ! It was splendid ! Big toilet ! Internet line ! Nice balcony and a swimming pool :) but I went to book another hotel because of that stupid simon at 1st but luckily cab claim our money back :)

Friday night went for a shopping at the mines mall, damn things there are so special and authentic ! Finally I watched x-men 1st class at TGV at there ! Nice movie but I let her waited me till I finished my movie :( I'm so bad :( but had a sweet call with her though XD !

Next morning well it's all about the competion. Well nothing much to talk about it, they did won it and I was so damn sleepy of driving :( knew a lot of pretty girls as well XD ! Had a natural ice cream which taste so damn good ! And not forgotten the rice I had the early morning ! And also a&w I had the other day !

Okay once pack up our luggage heading south too johor, this time us Simon drive and I slept all they down wuahahaha ! It was heavy rain and Simon gave shock by nearly having an accident ! God bless ! Reached the school and joined NSQ camp fire. Damn it was so high ! Dancing all the way round ! Had a stay there well.

Next morning on he way to melaka. Wao wao ! Chicken rice there was in ball shape ! Wth ! Quite nice indeed. Had some camwhore and some souvenir too. Walk walk then get into car and heads to seremban to have the best seafood I ever had ! RM19 per person only could you believe that ? I tot we would head back to home that night but end up staying at KL for the night. Forte is a Nice car to drive indeed !

Next morning, times square time ! Our brunch was vivo pizza ! Nice la Wei the chicken chop ! So damn full ! And after that straight head back to Penang . And all of them were sleeping like pigs =.= ! Drive all the way down to Penang.

Honestly, I tot my holiday gonna end simple, but 7 of these ppl change it all. Thank you guys. You guys really cheered me up like no one. Had the best time with you guys. And I won't forget that bird bird u guys gave me lmao ! Thanks har ! Hope there would be next time XD !

From now on I will listen before I talk ~!

I've cried, I've struggled, I've suffered, I've begged and I've been through all the pain.

Finally I get the very answer from you already. Although you didn't say it by yourself, but I can accept it as you told him.

Ya, I accept the fact I not suit you, I accept the fact I'm poor, I accept the fact I can't give you luxury, I accept the fact I can't dress like you want, I accept the fact I'm different race from you, I accept every pain you gave me, I accept the fact that you are embarrassed to go out with me to mall. I accept everything.

Ya I know he is different, he is your Dreamboy. I know I'm not like what you wanted. It's okay la, I won't be like you wanted me to be pun. Nevermind ba, I take all this while as my fault. You have no wrong on this matter ler, I just gave you a lot trouble right ? I'm really sorry for that ba. Yeah all this while is I'm giving you all my care, you never asked for that. Is I think too much ler, you never said you love me, is

I thought you love me when you gave me a bit care. I misunderstood haha.

You need someone better than me, I can't give you happiness. I can't give you the feeling of true love. Im just stupid and unromantic. He is better :) I'm sorry for everything. I understand what you mean ler :) thanks for giving me all those memories o. I really appreciate it although maybe it's a nightmare for you. Although I missed it but I need to accept it's over d. You really did get a better person :) he is better from every angle :)

honestly I never hated you before, I just can't stand all those pain come on one shot, I know this will happen but I just never tot it will happen when I'm so weak after accident. Sorry.

So I at here officially telling you that you have no wrong at all. Is me who is wrong :) well hope you blissful with your new life without me. You will be happy I trust it. I can see how happy you are too :) good luck January ! For the 3 person who always accompany me through all these, I really appreciate it guys. Thanks for everything.

For turtle, you really cheered me up with all those drawings you know Ma ? You made me cry sometime, but I never treated you so good like you treat me :( you accompanied every single day . Now my phone only have your msg nia lo turtle . Shhhh don't tell anyone hehe. I promised you I will be back on June right ? And I will turtle :) thank you for everything o. And hor, don't always say sorry to me la ish~ hate it nia blekxxx ! Makx !

And for that bitcy Friend of mine, thanks har. And hor you also Mai down like me la, always ask me Mai down. U ka ki masi down ! Blog always so emo ! Bitch ! Thank you for your advice har :) thank you bitch !

And Lanciao Allan ! U Mai ka wa keh kiang, you exactly same like me Kay! Don't want say thank you lo blekxxx !

And for all those friends out there, you guys rocks man ! Especially that 3 ekor ! Love you guys !

From nowadays I will listen before I talk ~

TOMEI. Sweetest Nightmare ~!

End of June will be the starting of my destiny, everything that is written on my path will be shown at that time. Im not sure whether I did it right, but.

Hope it will be just fine as I did my best . I know all these while since 25th December 2010, it was just a dream arranged by the mighty.

But what I can do is cherish but I know it's not worth it as that person don't even care about my feeling all these while. Perhaps I'm just a bloody toy as I always say.

I know I did my best for her and I'm bloody sure that no man in this life for her would sacrifice so much for her without even a status of boyfriend for her.

Not even the person she love so much Mr. Fu en. She don't even understand why the hell I help her so much sometime including for him sometime,

it's all because I wanted to hurt myself. From Fu en to George, Now Han Wen ! I don't know what life am I going through now,

but this situation make me don't believe on girls anymore ! They just came and flirt with you and after a while they will actually fall on you and guess what's next ?

They will actually hurt you at the most and find another guy to flirt of.

Why ? The person who says about strong relationship the most are girls but who knows they are the one who sucks it off !

Man I'm really broken in relationship this time man ! Really broken ! Never ever put so much before in a thing !

Not even in my studies ! Guess what I get back ? Sometime I think of Fu en, is it worth it for him ? I guess not ba !

As I see both of them, he kinda love her actually but ofcos distance break them apart and they don't know what each others are doing anyway,

there is a space for Cheat as I can see. But they 'trust' each other as they said so Lolx ! But what she's doing here ?

Ya one day she would breakup with him for a stupid reason for sure but the real reason would be hidden.

Well after few hours on 8th Of May 2011, I typed all this word from the heart, guess what happened ? I bang a car while fetching her to work,

and my parents don't even know about it ! I feel so damn guilty about it ! I had that sense that something going to happen soon last night,

but it was too late as I ignored it . I think it's going to be the best way to leave her world ba. But guess one thing.. If and only if I didnt get the pilot offer ?

What would happen to my life ? Will I succeed in my life ? Will all which I dreamt off would happen ? Will she still look at me ?

All this will be answered on the end of June ! It will be the most dramatic moment on my life . If everything goes fine it still worth it as I would really have a new life beginning soon,

but if it doesn't I don't know what am I going to do next. Continue study ? Or work ? Honestly I didn't do any wrong, god knows it, he really do.

I was so nice to all my friends, I helped them without hoping for rewards, I fetched her without any condition, but anyway she really kills me man with all those things.

She says she loves me, what the hell is that ? And I still can fetch her to him to Mr. Fu En. Great right? Well pass is pass. Now after all happened today,

she can message Han wen and Fu en all day long but she msg'ed a single msg asking me you okay Bo ? And that’s all. Fine.

If she met any problem I would be the 1st one who is going to help her, but when I met problem, she don't even thinks about it.

I'm not speculating but it's the truth, you can see that when I lost my camera, she can actually drive go down to meet her friend but not find me.

Well she never came down by herself to find me before. Ya, that day at Pc fair ?

That was a lie, she accompanied him to went back perlis and she is lazy to take bus to her home and wants me to fetch her you stupid.

Well ya I'm stupid all the time. But I'm really hoping to actually change starting from now. Really change. Take her as 8 month long nightmare.

Why I say nightmare? Because I don't even have a picture together with her! Funny right after all I’ve gone through with her. Today she hurts me the most by saying " so how, i get him ! then you ? you get who ! " . I just wanna tell you that that’s not the word I expected after all I gave you ~

And now the best thing, she get’s with him on the 20th May 2011 where only 12 days from the day she started to fall for him. I don’t know what to say, you love him so deeply ? What I didn’t gave you in 8 months that he gave you in 12 days ? Well it’s your decision. What I can say is the words you told me was just a freaking lie and I need to forget about it. 8th of May You say you love me, 11th of May you say you love him. LMAO. Funny la. Perhaps you gonna hate me forever, but what I’m telling was true and everybody even your friends know that. So good luck in your new relationship :) Well that necklace gonna stay hidden forever I guess. I don’t even dare to give you.

Now you are awake DreamBoy and it's time to be better. Hope luck sides me. I gave up my life for now I think.

My story with my Brother Alpha 550 !

Came out of nowhere. I met my Brother Alpha 550 ! He is kinda good to me. He is black in colour but captures the color of this world..the colour of my life..the color of everything I had.. Worked hard for him.. Bought him at the cost of RM3.5K..Got him cheaper through my friend actually.. 20^th August 2010 is his birthday..the day I really started to fell on photography.. 21^st I met her..it’s because of him actually..without him..I won’t even know her at all..he bring me all those happiness..happiness I really mean it.. Maybe she had changed..but he never change..he helps me to capture the sadness and happiness of everything..he helped me to earn money..he helped me to know who I am..T.T..

When I’m all alone after left out..he accompanied me..just like last few nights..he accompanied me to capture the beauty of the moon..when she din even know where I am..:( without her I thought I still have him..Who knows he left me too..:( I still have the 1^st and last picture of him L

Few months ago..I found a friend for him..a 300mm lens which I bought for him..he was really happy..I can feel it..he captured animal where I can’t even imagine.. Bro..I really love you..maybe by now you have a new owner..what I’m hoping is they will take care you nicely like I did..Bro..you are my 1^st DLSR and you are always…L Bro..take care your budies ya..2GB card,4GB card, 8GB CARD and your buddy 300mm lens..:) Hope you all will stay together… I miss you bro L