From now on I will listen before I talk ~!

I've cried, I've struggled, I've suffered, I've begged and I've been through all the pain.

Finally I get the very answer from you already. Although you didn't say it by yourself, but I can accept it as you told him.

Ya, I accept the fact I not suit you, I accept the fact I'm poor, I accept the fact I can't give you luxury, I accept the fact I can't dress like you want, I accept the fact I'm different race from you, I accept every pain you gave me, I accept the fact that you are embarrassed to go out with me to mall. I accept everything.

Ya I know he is different, he is your Dreamboy. I know I'm not like what you wanted. It's okay la, I won't be like you wanted me to be pun. Nevermind ba, I take all this while as my fault. You have no wrong on this matter ler, I just gave you a lot trouble right ? I'm really sorry for that ba. Yeah all this while is I'm giving you all my care, you never asked for that. Is I think too much ler, you never said you love me, is

I thought you love me when you gave me a bit care. I misunderstood haha.

You need someone better than me, I can't give you happiness. I can't give you the feeling of true love. Im just stupid and unromantic. He is better :) I'm sorry for everything. I understand what you mean ler :) thanks for giving me all those memories o. I really appreciate it although maybe it's a nightmare for you. Although I missed it but I need to accept it's over d. You really did get a better person :) he is better from every angle :)

honestly I never hated you before, I just can't stand all those pain come on one shot, I know this will happen but I just never tot it will happen when I'm so weak after accident. Sorry.

So I at here officially telling you that you have no wrong at all. Is me who is wrong :) well hope you blissful with your new life without me. You will be happy I trust it. I can see how happy you are too :) good luck January ! For the 3 person who always accompany me through all these, I really appreciate it guys. Thanks for everything.

For turtle, you really cheered me up with all those drawings you know Ma ? You made me cry sometime, but I never treated you so good like you treat me :( you accompanied every single day . Now my phone only have your msg nia lo turtle . Shhhh don't tell anyone hehe. I promised you I will be back on June right ? And I will turtle :) thank you for everything o. And hor, don't always say sorry to me la ish~ hate it nia blekxxx ! Makx !

And for that bitcy Friend of mine, thanks har. And hor you also Mai down like me la, always ask me Mai down. U ka ki masi down ! Blog always so emo ! Bitch ! Thank you for your advice har :) thank you bitch !

And Lanciao Allan ! U Mai ka wa keh kiang, you exactly same like me Kay! Don't want say thank you lo blekxxx !

And for all those friends out there, you guys rocks man ! Especially that 3 ekor ! Love you guys !

From nowadays I will listen before I talk ~

TOMEI. Sweetest Nightmare ~!

End of June will be the starting of my destiny, everything that is written on my path will be shown at that time. Im not sure whether I did it right, but.

Hope it will be just fine as I did my best . I know all these while since 25th December 2010, it was just a dream arranged by the mighty.

But what I can do is cherish but I know it's not worth it as that person don't even care about my feeling all these while. Perhaps I'm just a bloody toy as I always say.

I know I did my best for her and I'm bloody sure that no man in this life for her would sacrifice so much for her without even a status of boyfriend for her.

Not even the person she love so much Mr. Fu en. She don't even understand why the hell I help her so much sometime including for him sometime,

it's all because I wanted to hurt myself. From Fu en to George, Now Han Wen ! I don't know what life am I going through now,

but this situation make me don't believe on girls anymore ! They just came and flirt with you and after a while they will actually fall on you and guess what's next ?

They will actually hurt you at the most and find another guy to flirt of.

Why ? The person who says about strong relationship the most are girls but who knows they are the one who sucks it off !

Man I'm really broken in relationship this time man ! Really broken ! Never ever put so much before in a thing !

Not even in my studies ! Guess what I get back ? Sometime I think of Fu en, is it worth it for him ? I guess not ba !

As I see both of them, he kinda love her actually but ofcos distance break them apart and they don't know what each others are doing anyway,

there is a space for Cheat as I can see. But they 'trust' each other as they said so Lolx ! But what she's doing here ?

Ya one day she would breakup with him for a stupid reason for sure but the real reason would be hidden.

Well after few hours on 8th Of May 2011, I typed all this word from the heart, guess what happened ? I bang a car while fetching her to work,

and my parents don't even know about it ! I feel so damn guilty about it ! I had that sense that something going to happen soon last night,

but it was too late as I ignored it . I think it's going to be the best way to leave her world ba. But guess one thing.. If and only if I didnt get the pilot offer ?

What would happen to my life ? Will I succeed in my life ? Will all which I dreamt off would happen ? Will she still look at me ?

All this will be answered on the end of June ! It will be the most dramatic moment on my life . If everything goes fine it still worth it as I would really have a new life beginning soon,

but if it doesn't I don't know what am I going to do next. Continue study ? Or work ? Honestly I didn't do any wrong, god knows it, he really do.

I was so nice to all my friends, I helped them without hoping for rewards, I fetched her without any condition, but anyway she really kills me man with all those things.

She says she loves me, what the hell is that ? And I still can fetch her to him to Mr. Fu En. Great right? Well pass is pass. Now after all happened today,

she can message Han wen and Fu en all day long but she msg'ed a single msg asking me you okay Bo ? And that’s all. Fine.

If she met any problem I would be the 1st one who is going to help her, but when I met problem, she don't even thinks about it.

I'm not speculating but it's the truth, you can see that when I lost my camera, she can actually drive go down to meet her friend but not find me.

Well she never came down by herself to find me before. Ya, that day at Pc fair ?

That was a lie, she accompanied him to went back perlis and she is lazy to take bus to her home and wants me to fetch her you stupid.

Well ya I'm stupid all the time. But I'm really hoping to actually change starting from now. Really change. Take her as 8 month long nightmare.

Why I say nightmare? Because I don't even have a picture together with her! Funny right after all I’ve gone through with her. Today she hurts me the most by saying " so how, i get him ! then you ? you get who ! " . I just wanna tell you that that’s not the word I expected after all I gave you ~

And now the best thing, she get’s with him on the 20th May 2011 where only 12 days from the day she started to fall for him. I don’t know what to say, you love him so deeply ? What I didn’t gave you in 8 months that he gave you in 12 days ? Well it’s your decision. What I can say is the words you told me was just a freaking lie and I need to forget about it. 8th of May You say you love me, 11th of May you say you love him. LMAO. Funny la. Perhaps you gonna hate me forever, but what I’m telling was true and everybody even your friends know that. So good luck in your new relationship :) Well that necklace gonna stay hidden forever I guess. I don’t even dare to give you.

Now you are awake DreamBoy and it's time to be better. Hope luck sides me. I gave up my life for now I think.